Friday, June 17, 2011

Pieces of Me

This is me, the girl I used to be. The girl that opted for a large McDonald's Triple Thick Chocolate Shake over a Skinny Cow ice cream bar.

I'm struggling with letting go of this girl. I look in the mirror and I see someone completely different, but inside, sometimes, I still feel like I look like her. I know that I don't. I know I'm wearing pants that are 4 sizes smaller than that girl. Call it a vanity thing, if you want. It's really my anxiety creeping up inside my head, making me think that the next piece of food I eat (healthy or not) will immediately make me go back to the beginning. To her.

I can't go back to her. EVER. E.V.E.R.

I'm finally feeling GREAT with where I'm at. Still a little weirded out by the appearance of my long lost hip & collar bones, but I digress. People are calling me "skinny", which makes me feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone, but it's an amazing compliment. For someone who was a size 20/22 to now be running a mile, walking all the time, having more energy than I ever imagined, AND being called "skinny"'s been a mental trip, I tell you what.


Matthew said...

I love you, Baby, and I am SO proud of you!!! You inspire me to be a healthier person.

ivcolga said...

Emily, I love you and love your honesty. And I loved THAT girl, too, but can see how much HAPPIER you are being THIS girl. You're an inspiration....

Can't wait for our 5K! Eek!!!

Becky Baker Horn said...

You are such an inspiration to me, Emily! Thank you for your honest sharing and continuing to stick to it despite those up and down feelings. That commitment shines through to the rest of us!