Pieces of Me

This is me, the girl I used to be. The girl that opted for a large McDonald's Triple Thick Chocolate Shake over a Skinny Cow ice cream bar.

I'm struggling with letting go of this girl. I look in the mirror and I see someone completely different, but inside, sometimes, I still feel like I look like her. I know that I don't. I know I'm wearing pants that are 4 sizes smaller than that girl. Call it a vanity thing, if you want. It's really my anxiety creeping up inside my head, making me think that the next piece of food I eat (healthy or not) will immediately make me go back to the beginning. To her.

I can't go back to her. EVER. E.V.E.R.

I'm finally feeling GREAT with where I'm at. Still a little weirded out by the appearance of my long lost hip & collar bones, but I digress. People are calling me "skinny", which makes me feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone, but it's an amazing compliment. For someone who was a size 20/22 to now be running a mile, walking all the time, having more energy than I ever imagined, AND being called "skinny"...it's been a mental trip, I tell you what.

Baby Love

I pretty much lovecherishadore this kid.

My nephew.

The best in the world.

Milo.
I know that he MUST be getting tired of the paparazzi that follow him around EVERYWHERE and I promise him each time we're together that someday soon, dear sweet boy, he'll have a cousin that will deflect some of the attention away from him.

Body Image

I read a wonderful post this morning about body image, which is something I've struggled with my whole life. Here's a snippet:

"The thing is, no matter how much any of us workout or what we weigh, we are likely never going to look like whatever ideal we have in our head (whether it's a celebrity, our former selves or some other imaginary version of us). If we have stretch marks and cellulite, we will probably always have them. Even at goal weight. So I think the first thing we need to do is understand that and have realistic expectations. Because all we can do is eat better and move more; but we have little to no control over what our bodies will look like as a result of that work.

So instead of being disappointed that you don't look a certain way, I want you to reframe it: The next time you find yourself saying negative things about your body because of what it looks like, I want you to see all the ways your body is amazing - think of all the things it does for you in a single day: it keeps your heart beating and keeps you alive, it gets you around from place to place, it walks, it drives, it bends, reaches, grabs, writes, sews, paints, draws, plays instruments, runs, bikes, swims, jumps - it picks up and holds your kids & your loved ones. Your body is a truly amazing thing - a functional work of art."

You can read the whole post here on Sheryl's blog.

I stared into the mirror last night, analyzing myself (stretch marks and all)...and I realized how far I've come and what I can do now that I couldn't do before. I can run a mile, I can walk a 5k, I can do jumping jacks and pushups, I can walk up and down the stairs without heaving, I can cook fantastic DELICIOUS satisfying foods that even my husband loves.

So like Sheryl said, no matter what we look like - we truly are a work of art. :o)