Pieces of Me

This is me, the girl I used to be. The girl that opted for a large McDonald's Triple Thick Chocolate Shake over a Skinny Cow ice cream bar.

I'm struggling with letting go of this girl. I look in the mirror and I see someone completely different, but inside, sometimes, I still feel like I look like her. I know that I don't. I know I'm wearing pants that are 4 sizes smaller than that girl. Call it a vanity thing, if you want. It's really my anxiety creeping up inside my head, making me think that the next piece of food I eat (healthy or not) will immediately make me go back to the beginning. To her.

I can't go back to her. EVER. E.V.E.R.

I'm finally feeling GREAT with where I'm at. Still a little weirded out by the appearance of my long lost hip & collar bones, but I digress. People are calling me "skinny", which makes me feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone, but it's an amazing compliment. For someone who was a size 20/22 to now be running a mile, walking all the time, having more energy than I ever imagined, AND being called "skinny"...it's been a mental trip, I tell you what.

Baby Love

I pretty much lovecherishadore this kid.

My nephew.

The best in the world.

Milo.
I know that he MUST be getting tired of the paparazzi that follow him around EVERYWHERE and I promise him each time we're together that someday soon, dear sweet boy, he'll have a cousin that will deflect some of the attention away from him.

Body Image

I read a wonderful post this morning about body image, which is something I've struggled with my whole life. Here's a snippet:

"The thing is, no matter how much any of us workout or what we weigh, we are likely never going to look like whatever ideal we have in our head (whether it's a celebrity, our former selves or some other imaginary version of us). If we have stretch marks and cellulite, we will probably always have them. Even at goal weight. So I think the first thing we need to do is understand that and have realistic expectations. Because all we can do is eat better and move more; but we have little to no control over what our bodies will look like as a result of that work.

So instead of being disappointed that you don't look a certain way, I want you to reframe it: The next time you find yourself saying negative things about your body because of what it looks like, I want you to see all the ways your body is amazing - think of all the things it does for you in a single day: it keeps your heart beating and keeps you alive, it gets you around from place to place, it walks, it drives, it bends, reaches, grabs, writes, sews, paints, draws, plays instruments, runs, bikes, swims, jumps - it picks up and holds your kids & your loved ones. Your body is a truly amazing thing - a functional work of art."

You can read the whole post here on Sheryl's blog.

I stared into the mirror last night, analyzing myself (stretch marks and all)...and I realized how far I've come and what I can do now that I couldn't do before. I can run a mile, I can walk a 5k, I can do jumping jacks and pushups, I can walk up and down the stairs without heaving, I can cook fantastic DELICIOUS satisfying foods that even my husband loves.

So like Sheryl said, no matter what we look like - we truly are a work of art. :o)

A Mile at a Time

Yesterday, I ran a mile. 1 whole mile.

It was AWESOME!

I know so many people who have done 5k's, 10k's, half-marathons, and full marathons...but they all had to start out with just one mile at some point in their lives.

I had actually just intended to walk (by myself, Matt was down with a bad cold) but made a split second decision after a 5 minute warm up to run.

I ran past a sweet old lady who was out enjoying the wonderful fresh air.

I turned a corner and ran to the next block.

I saw a gray van two blocks down.

I ran past it.

I saw the end of the street, took a left, and kept running.

Then I just made up my mind that I was going to run home.

I ran and I ran and I actually ran PAST the house, to the end of our block, because I wanted to ensure that I had run a full mile.

All the while, I imagined people cheering me on. All of you were there, lining the street, jumping up and down, waiting for me to cross that 'finish line'.

Remember Me

I just wanted to do a quick post this morning, because I've been wearing a shirt recently that I purchased on our honeymoon in March of 2009. Sometimes we all need a reminder of what happened along our journey. We need to stop at the reflecting pool to keep in touch with who we were then and who we are now.

Scripture

I have to quickly share this great piece of scripture before I head off to bed. It's been on my mind since I stumbled across it this morning on beautiful Mandisa's blog (which I ALSO stumbled upon -- thank you, KLove!) She included this little gem in her "Scriptures on my Journey to 100" post:

Philippians 4:12-13- I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Easter :o)

Easter 2011
(down 90lbs!)

From L-R: Matt (my husband), me, Mike (my dad), Sharon (my mom)

On a side note, check out my mom's Easter post that includes a fun little video outtake from this photo shoot!